Trench coat

Staple item or sex offender?

Ah yes throughout my many purchases I picked up a timeless staple item; A Burberry trench, over sized with a plaid lining and a bronzed acetate lining in the sleeves. Something to go with everything in the wardrobe when Mother Nature has her time of the month. Weather wise. It’s only human nature to want to be insured for these unpredictable monsoons coming our way. But as I strolled the streets feeling dapper as all hell I noticed weird full frontal stares and mothers running in the opposite direction with their kids in arms.  So I decided to conduct a little experiment. It was simple, testing reactions via trench on/off.

The results were as follows:

Trench on – people freaking out with the idea that more than a Janet Jackson nip slip is about to occur.


more seedy then a birds feeding time



 Trench off – Oh hey look an odd looking boy walking aimlessly down the street. Check out that ass.



Lalalala what am I doing?

Trench: Burberry, Shirt: Hugo Boss, Shorts: Cotton on

So at the end of the day the staple turned me into a potential predator to some, and a kid in a trench to others. 50/50 odds. I guess like Mother Nature the trench will never please everyone, but for now make it what you will.

Too lazy to change



Mama teach me no manners - cover the mouth when yawning



 Shirt: Peter Alexander

“Too lazy to change” - This title could easily mistake for a metaphorical change – one in personality or attitude. Perhaps even the bad habits we need to kick in the shins until it bleeds. I know I have a coco-cola addiction that I have taken to freaky limits, Rick James freaky. But it’s not about that. That just sucks as it’s responsible and shit. No this post is about not changing your clothes; it’s night to day wear - Peter Alexander the morning after; turning that walk of shame into a walk of fame.

 So I’ve been rummaging through collections of Pyjamas and what do you know, I can hit the snooze button 6 or 7 times (and not feel as guilty) but still making it just in time for work. Okay so when you think about it, it’s unhygienic to just dash out the door without a shower, still wearing the clothes you slept in. So don’t. Let’s not get too batty in the bedroom.

Revise the idea, I know that most of my pyjamas consist of above the knee boxers and Bintang singlets (ladies form a line), so maybe I should just retitle this post “Change into clean, better looking PJ’s”.

So that’s where this bad boy comes in. 3 pockets 3 times the fun. Sleeves permanently remain down and the trimmings have an entwined black and white thread. It almost makes it impossible to stay awake at any occasion. Fo realz.

As a liability though do not wear pyjamas of any sort while driving or hung-over. It takes struggle street to a whole new level.

You say small – I say fitted

 Guilty! Throw me behind bars and swallow the key. You’re probably thinking “what chu talkin’ bout Willis.” Well Willis (pause for a moment to laugh at the name Willis) I’m talking about the Supre’ wearers of the world, the harlots of the land, the tarts of the sea. I admit that here and there I make the comment of girls wearing thick denim belts as pants, or even going on to say that there is a man running around with scissors cutting clothes to make them mid-drift bearing or have that torn edge. The size is Large yet the material clings to your body. What do you do?!

I am a model - what of it?



Yesterday (in the shower) I had a thought that maybe the clothing we chose to wear is not small but instead fitted. Hey most of our mums don’t shop for us anymore and we have gotten over those growth spurts. Luckily only once or twice you are fooled by the miracle luminescent glow of the store lighting or happen to pick up the wrong size at the checkout counter. Reminder checkout counter means CHECKOUT the size! (Or the person serving) sneaky perv. ANY WAY Moral of the story is we are not getting bigger – my our binge drinking and caffeine induced all nighters are not getting the better of me us.

Clothing looking a little snug



Still confused? Pretend like you’re an optimist. PRETEND, and instead of a half glass of water you have your key garments. Gained weight? Well your clothes haven’t become small, they now are more fitted. Instead of a lie it’s writing fiction with your mouth.

Are we catching my drift?

Shirt: Unknown, legit. Shorts: Wrangler

So swing from your baggy shirts to the fitted ones. Shorts so tight they literally tore when stretching them out (freaking Wrangler) and just balance it out with some chunky ass shoes.

Its the most positive spin I can give before I go for a run. For 10 years...